Apparently locking eyeballs can be powerful. Who knew? And the practice is not new. The ancient philosophy of tantra was believed to have originated in India between three and five thousand years ago. Achieving spiritual enlightenment through tantric eye gazing is one technique, along with meditation, mantras, and rituals such as yoga.

LOCKING EYEBALLS EXPERIMENT

Experiments in locking eyeballs abound. In 2010, the New York City’s Museum of Modern Art held an event where visitors were allowed to sit across from an artist and gaze into her eyes. One thousand five hundred people participated! Someone even sat for seven hours!

Fast forward to 2017 when an eye-gazing event was held on the Boston Commons. About forty people attended. Did you know that staring into both eyes is difficult? Focusing on one eye eases the process.

BENEFITS OF LOCKING EYEBALLS

According to healthline.com, gazing into another person’s eyes:

• Assists you in recognizing emotions.
• Increases intimacy.
• Builds trust.
• Increases connection.

WHY LOCKING EYEBALLS IS FRIGHTENING

If the practice is so beneficial, why is it so difficult for us to do? Gregg Levoy explains that when words stop, we tend to break eye contact. The intimacy is too overwhelming. For animals sustained eye contact is frequently a sign of aggression, supremacy, or possibly a threat. When the more powerful animal or person locks eyes with a subordinate, the latter will typically look away.

Other factors also intervene. Cultural differences abound. In some Asian cultures, the tolerance for eye contact is lower than for Americans or Europeans. For individuals who are not neurotypical (autism, social anxiety, or childhood PTSD) locking eyeballs can be stressful.

So, what’s a person wanting to lock eyeballs to do? Practice, of course.

Wilson Counseling suggests:

1. Sit facing each other (you can hold hands to increase intimacy).
2. Set a timer for how long you would like to gaze. I recommend starting with one minute and increasing this with time until you can get to the point of gazing for 5-10 minutes.
3. Do not talk while gazing into the eyes of each other (smiling or giggling may occur naturally and is okay).
4. Stop gazing at each other when the timer goes off.
5. Take a minute to notice how you feel after this exercise and express appreciation to your partner for taking the time to eye gaze with you.

Shane Melaugh also gives advice and exercises on the art of gazing.

No partner? No problem. Making eye contact with yourself in a mirror could help boost self-love and compassion. The steps are:

1. Find a quiet place and get comfortable in a chair or on the floor.
2. Angle the mirror so you can easily make eye contact with your reflection.
3. Set your timer. If 10 minutes feels too long, start with 5 minutes. There’s no need to set a specific meditation goal. Your aim is to sit with yourself, as reflected in your mirror.
4. Close your eyes and slow your breathing. Take several deep breaths, allowing yourself to inhale, hold, and then slowly exhale.
5. As your body relaxes, let yourself breathe naturally. Turn your attention to any tense spots in your body and visualize that tension slowly dissolving with each breath.
6. Open your eyes and look into the mirror. Pay attention to the rhythm of your breath. Does it feel or sound any different as you gaze into the mirror?
7. Consider the message in your eyes. Is it critical or kind? Do you immediately focus on something specific you dislike about yourself? Visualize each slow breath dissolving that dislike.
8. What thoughts come to mind? Does a little voice begin to name flaws, one after the other? Do you find it hard to hold your gaze because of any self-disdain? As each thought comes up, observe it and let it pass. Pay attention to the way your emotions move across your face. What does judgment look like? Anger? Fear? Acceptance?
9. If you find yourself grasping at any feelings that come up, or narrowing your focus to a particularly critical thought, gently return your attention to your reflection. Let your thoughts travel where they will, but hold your gaze, looking at yourself with kindness, as they wander.

LAST THOUGHTS ABOUT LOCKING EYEBALLS

If you have read this far, my gift to you is that locking eyeballs can enhance your sex life! The term is tantric sex. The idea is to meld spirituality and sexuality, stressing the significance of intimacy during a sexual experience. Who knew?

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