Putting bananas in a plastic produce bag during my recent shopping trip drove me batty. The bag just wouldn’t open. Frustrated, I put the unprotected bananas in my cart and carried the container.  Eventually, it gave way. This issue has not plagued me until this year, probably because, until 2020, my husband did most of the grocery shopping.

The conundrum of these intransigent sacks is well documented.  Many internet sites give instructions:

 Method 1

• Moisten your thumb and index finger by breathing on them.
• Pinch the open side of the bag with your thumb and index finger.
• Squeeze and bring your index finger down along your thumb.
• Separate the bag.
• Give it a good shake to open it completely.

 I’ll pass on this one since I don’t want to remove my mask to moisten my fingers.

 Method 2

• Pinch the unsealed end of the bag with thumb and forefinger.
• Move these two fingers in opposite directions.
• Pull apart and blow/shake open.

Huh?

Method 3

• Wet fingers because they are too dry for sufficient friction.
• Find moisture in the produce department in the form of misting sprays, ice chips, juice coolers, etc.

 Yuck! In the time of COVID, I am not roaming around to find dampness. Well, maybe I’d be willing to go to the beer cooler if Texas allowed you to sip a cold one while shopping.

 Method 4 

• Use a pair of rubber fingertips or other products used to give traction to your fingers.

 Sigh…My purse is already full to the brim with hand sanitizer, masks, and googles. 

 I guess I could replace my purse with a backpack.  I wonder how long it will take Amazon to deliver the latest must-have COVID gear? After all, it took one month for my pulse oximeter to arrive. Or, I could just skip fresh produce and buy frozen.  Who needs bananas anyway?